The illusion of support

Once again, one of these countless, long, and agonizing meetings occurred in a Swedish luxury resort. A strange mixture of busyness and relaxation typical of this event characterized the atmosphere. Knowing that the problems were growing, I headed straight for Thomasson. I engaged him in a conversation, urging him to come and visit us to explain everything to him, especially the unique situation we were in with the complete takeover of Sweden. No other part of the company had ever faced such challenges.

Thomasson's gaze exuded a mixture of empathic seriousness and a statesmanlike dignity. It was as if he was fully committed to my cause and understood what was at stake. His gestures were deliberate, his words chosen, and when he entered my request in his notebook, he did so with a care that seemed almost ceremonial.

I sat there, watching him, and felt hope sprout inside me. It was as if Thomasson's promise to come and listen to my suggestions had lit a small light in the darkness of my day-to-day work. At that moment, I believed that we could find a way to overcome the growing problems and that his support could be the key to a solution.

But the reality of the luxury resort where we stayed cast a shadow over this hope. After the meeting, the Swedish colleagues returned to the sauna, relaxed in their white bathrobes, and visibly enjoyed the amenities. I watched Thomasson chatting animatedly with a young HR department lady as they sat together at the bar. I paused momentarily when I saw the scene: was this a severe manager you could rely on and trust? I pondered this question for minutes as I watched him sitting at the bar in his flip-flops and coat. Despite this confidence that Thomasson's promise inspired in me, I couldn't entirely silence a faint voice of doubt. Would he listen and understand? Or was this just another empty promise in a long line of disappointments?

But as in the best (or worst?) stories, Thomasson never showed up. The weeks and months went by, and there was no sign of Thomasson. It was as if I had invited him into another dimension from which he never returned. Every time I recalled his empty promise, I couldn't help but smile a little at the situation's absurdity. It was as if I had sent an invitation to a dance where the partner never showed up, and I stood there, alone on the dance floor, surrounded by the problems and challenges that continued to grow perpetually. I wondered if Thomasson had ever seriously intended to come or if it was all just part of some strange, unwritten script that I didn't understand.

The irony of the situation could not be overlooked. Here was me, the foreign manager, desperately trying to stay on the surface of the chaos, and there was Thomasson, the Swedish manager, disappearing with a promise and a smile as fleeting as the mist on a Swedish morning. It was a lesson in expectation and a reminder that in the business world of this Swedish company, promises were often worth as much as the paper they were written on - or, in this case, the notebook they were jotted down in.

There would have been a great need for discussion, and the PowerPoint presentation for Thomasson had long since been completed. A particularly frustrating problem that seemed impossible to get off the ice was the HR department's promise to train foreign managers in unique software systems that our people didn't really understand, if only because of the Swedish language. These training courses were as tangible as a mirage - always in sight but never achievable. They were either not even scheduled or canceled at short notice. My attempts to draw the attention of the company's compliance department to these shortcomings in writing went unheard. It was as if I was throwing messages into bottles that got lost in the sea of corporate bureaucracy. Curiously, I later even had to use automated forms to determine whether I had received any feedback.

These experiences trapped me in a labyrinth where every way out only led to another dead end. The combination of counterproductive HR policies, lack of communication, and insufficient support from management made it almost impossible to work effectively and bring about positive change. It was a challenge that required a good dose of humor to avoid losing one's mind.

Another construction site I would have liked to discuss in detail and on-site with Thomasson was the "room capacity disaster," triggered by the change from the previous to the now predominantly Swedish workforce. This resulted in the aforementioned significant increase in the number of employees, as the previous (more effective) system was not permitted under the Swedish legal system. Even before this change took place, I warned like a prophet of doom about the inadequate capacity of our offices and workspaces. But my warnings went unheeded, like the call of a hermit in the desert.

Following the change in corporate culture, employees had to be accommodated in temporary rooms such as meeting rooms and even a converted first aid room. This led to frustration among employees on the one hand and protests from operational management on the other, as these rooms were intended for other purposes and could no longer be used, resulting in a loss of revenue. I was also blamed for this, as they had no way of knowing what I had warned them about the room capacity before the switch to the Swedish system, as the relevant managers at the time had left the company with or before the switch.

My urgent request to the HR department not to continue sending interns was ignored, as we could not accommodate them. In practice, this meant that new employees arrived without us having any real possibility of finding suitable accommodation. At the same time, however, those interns put pressure on me, as they invoked a contract between the Swedish school and our company, concluded before the significant change. I was told that breaking these contracts would have had serious financial consequences.

At the same time, Milva and co. were putting pressure on me to create new workspaces. There was no word on how I was supposed to do this, apart from the Swedish building regulations, which were unknown to me. Olsson would have been responsible for this. By simply pushing everything away on the Swedish side, which was always done by ignoring and looking the other way, almost all the problems were shifted to the local management, who incidentally also had to maintain daily operations - our actual (day-to-day) core task.

The situation in our part of the company was increasingly becoming a health risk for me. It was like I was running against an invisible wall of Swedish ignorance, non-answers, and appeasement.

Every attempt to solve the internal problems caused by the outside bounced off this wall and left me with more than just metaphorical bumps. The constant frustration and feeling of powerlessness began to make itself felt in my body. My heart, which generally beat to the beat of a well-oiled clockwork, began to play its irregular rhythms. It was as if it was protesting against the constant worry and stress that accompanied me day and night.

Visits to the GP and cardiologist became a regular part of my everyday life. I sat in waiting rooms, surrounded by old magazines and the quiet murmurs of other patients, while I pondered how it could have come to this. The doctor, who usually came with a reassuring smile and words of encouragement, now began to frown worriedly as he studied the results of my tests.

Cardiac arrhythmia - a term that previously had only a vague medical meaning to me, has now become a real and frightening presence in my life. Every irregular beat of my heart reminded me of the unresolved issues and the wall of ignorance I was fighting daily. It was as if my body was telling me, "This can't go on."

These health warning signals were a wake-up call. They painfully showed me that the operational part and my body and mind demanded a solution far beyond what Swedish appeasement and non-answers could offer.

If you're intrigued by my entertaining account of spending a decade in Sweden and want to delve deeper into my experiences, please click the link to discover more about my book.

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