The Swedish concept of friendship

"He's my friend." I heard this sentence a lot. Dealing with the term I was particularly struck by the word "friend" because it seemed to have a different meaning in this Swedish company than I had previously known.

"Wow, so many friendships in one place," I thought when I saw the groups of colleagues engaged in casual conversations in the break rooms and along the corridors. A certain informal ease characterized the atmosphere. Friendly greetings were exchanged everywhere, and it almost seemed like the whole country was one giant friendship club. The boundaries between professional and personal relationships were seemingly fluid, and I wondered if these connections were as deep as they appeared at first glance.

In this environment, I observed how Swedish colleagues interacted with each other. Often, the communication seemed rather superficial, characterized by short, committal conversations. There was constant whispering and laughter, but the conversations rarely revolved around deep or personal topics. Instead, they seemed like a series of friendly but not particularly deep interactions.

The seemingly friendly atmosphere extended across all levels of the hierarchy, but I noticed that it was often more about the appearance of closeness than real closeness. From interns to managers, everyone seemed to be part of a large, harmonious community, but the longer I was there, the more I wondered whether this harmony was just a well-staged façade.

I needed time to understand this "friendship thing." My colleague Johan stood out to me in this regard. He often talked about this or that gentleman being his 'friend,' including a board member with whom he sometimes exchanged emails.

"I had lunch with the COO last week," he said casually, sipping coffee.

"Oh really? How did that happen?" I asked curiously.

"We've known each other for a while. He's my friend," he explained with a casual smile.

"And what did you talk about?" I asked, interested to find out how deep this friendship went.

"Well, mainly about the company, future projects, things like that. Nothing special, but it's useful to exchange ideas," Johan replied.

His answer reinforced my suspicions. The conversations he described as the basis for this "friendship" seemed rather superficial - helpful, sure, but hardly the basis for a deep, personal connection.

"Sounds like you had a productive meeting," I said as I thought about how "friend" was used in this context.

"Yes, exactly," Johan agreed. "It's always helpful to have friends in higher positions."

As I listened to Johan's stories, I realized that the term "Friend" was used more as a social tool. It was less about emotional closeness and more about making valuable contacts. This kind of "Friendship" seemed functional and promoted harmony and networks. This realization impacted my view of interpersonal relationships in this Swedish company.

I gradually realized that "friend" was used differently in Sweden. People were always "friends" when they got on well, especially after several good conversations. This realization made me critically examine the inflationary use of "friend." Was it possible that these relationships were superficial? Were "Friends" merely used as a social lubricant in a corporate environment that greatly valued harmony?

The relationships labeled as friendships rarely had the depth and commitment I knew from my previous experiences. They were often casual acquaintances labeled as friendships when necessary to create an atmosphere of connectedness. It wasn't very clear to see how the concept of friendship played a completely different role in this culture. At first glance, these relationships seemed deep and meaningful, but on closer inspection, they revealed a friendly superficiality.

Realizing that friendship had a different meaning in this context led to a deeper understanding of Swedish culture and its social dynamics. The term "friend" had a different connotation here, which was characterized less by emotional depth and more by social accessibility and networking. Many of these "friendships" were more like professional networks or pleasant working relationships. I don't want to say that they were less valuable because of this, but they were just different from what I understood friendships to be.

This routine designation of colleagues, acquaintances, or even casual business partners as "friends" raised critical questions for me. The more I looked into this topic, the clearer it became that the term "friend" had undergone a devaluing transformation in this context. What in other cultures implied a profound relationship here seemed to mean merely a pleasant acquaintance. This realization led to a certain alienation and disappointment.

The apparent ability of some Swedes to be "friends" with everyone increasingly seemed to me like a shiny façade that hid a lack of genuine connection. It almost seemed like a social play in which everyone played the role of a friendly but distant colleague. This friendship performance without real closeness and intimacy felt increasingly misleading to me.

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