The land of "not losing face"

One thing that challenged me a lot during my time with the Swedes was the subtle but omnipresent principle of "not losing face." As I learned over the years in Sweden, this cultural norm is deeply rooted and shapes professional and social interaction.

As so often, it was Johan who explained these things to me. He considered himself atypical of the Swedish working world, which had the advantage that he could reflect the Swedish soul. Johan had traveled to many countries and experienced many cultures. His perspective was unique because he always emphasized that he differed from his usual Swedish colleagues. In a way, that was true.

While sitting in a quiet café near our office, I talked to Johan about my observations and questions about Swedish work culture.

"I've noticed that conflicts are handled differently here than I'm used to," I began the conversation.

"How do you see it?"

Johan nodded. "Yes, that's true. In Sweden, we attach great importance to nobody losing face. It's about resolving conflicts in a way acceptable to everyone."

Sweden's concept of "not losing face" manifests itself in many aspects of working life. This cultural trait is reflected everywhere, From how meetings are conducted to how conflict is handled to everyday interactions. It's about maintaining harmony, avoiding confrontation, and ensuring that no one is put on the spot. These aspects are deeply embedded in Swedish work culture and form the foundation for how business is done and relationships are maintained.

Being embarrassed in front of others was pretty much the worst thing that could happen to my Swedish colleagues, which is why they resented it so much; see Lars' email about desolate conditions that he had observed in a Swedish part of the company and carelessly revealed to a wide circle of distributors in a rather offensive email.

Johans was crucial to my understanding of this culture. Through his initial distance from these norms (over the years, he seemed to adapt and gradually abandoned them), he offered me a unique insight into the intricacies of the Swedish soul. I learned that "not losing face" is more than a social convention; it's an art of diplomacy that must be mastered if you don't want to sink mercilessly into the working world of this Swedish company. These aspects characterize the working atmosphere and how decisions are made and conflicts resolved.

One of the most striking characteristics was consensus and collective decision-making. Rather than making authoritarian decisions, there was an emphasis on all team members being heard and giving their consent - one of the reasons why there were so many meetings. People like Mats and other of his colleagues in senior management wanted to create an environment where no one felt they were being outvoted or ignored (at least seemingly, just "saving face" because the reality was often quite different). In many of the meetings I attended, a lot of time was spent making sure that everyone could express their opinion, and a lot of emphasis was placed on finding common ground. It often seemed like a "necessary ritual" to satisfy one. It was important for the Swedish colleagues to perform this kind of ritual, even if it was purely about their satisfaction.

There have been plenty of examples of this over the years. The accurate decisions were made quite coolly and soberly in the ivory tower of the company (slightly above Mats). And nobody there was even remotely interested in their direct impact on people.

Closely linked to consensus building was the tendency to avoid conflict. In Swedish culture, harmony is highly valued, and attempts were often made to resolve disagreements in a way that, as mentioned, saved face. I noticed that confrontation was avoided at all costs, and instead, the focus was on diplomatic communication. The concept of "lagom" - the balance between too much and too little - is deeply rooted in Swedish culture. It is meant to promote moderation and balance, which is also reflected in the world of work.

"Lagom" means finding the right balance (from a Swedish perspective) in terms of workload, discussions, and even breaks, which, in my view, had severe disadvantages in terms of productivity. In addition "Jantelagen" is a socio-cultural concept common in Scandinavia that emphasizes equality. It promotes the idea that no one should consider themselves superior, which supports a culture of humility and equality. In fact, in Sweden, for example, I have never experienced a formal form of address, not even between an intern and a CEO.

However, the culture of "not losing face" had many downsides. The tendencies towards insincerity, even hypocrisy, were particularly noticeable. In many situations, it seemed my Swedish colleagues wanted to avoid confrontation at all costs. This often meant that problems were not addressed directly, which led to unresolved tensions and misunderstandings, especially in connection with the rather direct foreigners.

This conflict avoidance went hand in hand with a significant lack of openness. The effort to avoid taking anyone's face often resulted in honest feedback being avoided. This could lead to problems not being resolved effectively as no one was willing to address the underlying difficulties openly.

A further disadvantage of this culture was that the much-hated conflicts were often left to others, in this case, strikingly often to foreign colleagues. In some cases, this meant a slowdown in decision-making and a feeling of powerlessness, even a certain phlegmatic, which I often observed among my Swedish colleagues. A kind of shrugging of the shoulders, "turning away." Some problems festered for months; some were never solved at all.

The constant concern to save face often led to behavior that I felt was insincere. There were situations where agreement was expressed when, in fact, there was disagreement. This discrepancy between what was said and what was meant could cause confusion and make it challenging to build trust. It was also a feature of many meetings in Sweden where people gossiped behind the backs of their (mostly Swedish) colleagues about their "inappropriate" clothing. There was an above-average tendency to whisper among Swedish colleagues.

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